There's Something About Pauli

So last Thursday (11/10/05) I was enjoying another of my usual Thursdays at the Posse. I was jibberjabberin' with people here and there when I saw something I had never seen before. Someone stopped next to one of the outside pillars, reached into the viny overgrowth, and produced a stuffed parrot. Their expression of suprise equally matched my own. I got up and went over to inspect the newly-found parrot, wondering if it was too late to make it a Captain Morgan night (no, I'm not always thinking about alcohol, just most of the time), but alas, Texas Blue laws stopped that thought in its tracks.
Then inspiration hit me: Let's mess with traffic! So I created a makeshift perch for poor little Pauli (what else would you name a fake parrot). Then I placed him in the middle of the intersection in front of Posse.

The result was funny as hell! Cars would swerve around Pauli, or would stop iin front of it, back up, and pull around it. I was sure I would witness the demise of our doomed styrofoam and feather social experiment, but the only thing that would knock it over was the wind.
After moving it all over the place, a drunk driver who apparently had a thing gainst parrots ran it over at 40mph with his Trans-Am. I didn't know whether to laugh uproariously or die a little inside. So I laughed my ass off.

Then someone suggested pulling a Steve Austin on it, but we only had about three-fitty to use. The results weren't quite as spectacular, but they got the job done.

Finally, after more fun and a brief visit by APD, poor Pauli was retired to the Austin Landfill. May he rest in peice... er... peace. If you find this entry a little lame, then I blame you! You should have been drinking with us that night.

Evening Drinking Score: 3 pitchers (i.e. 12 pints)

Just another night on the town

On a Wednesday night, the September of '05, my brother's band, The Civilians (or if you're a Myspace fanatic check 'em out here), was playing a show at Buffalo Billiards. I went with Ray and met up with Sal (a fraternity brother). My parents were there along with the hot groupies and even Shawn Alff (my brother's old roommate and partner in crime who just got back from an interesting 3-month soul-search in Hawaii). Candice also showed up and told me about something going on at Maggie Mae's, but I'll get to that in a bit.
During my brother's show I wandered downstairs to play Gallaga. I don't know how, but I set a personal record by getting to level 34. I lost a ship in the first level, but not again until the 20th. I also had two perfect scores in the Challenge Stages. Damn I love that game!
After that I went up and listened to the rest of my Brother's set. Damn I love that band! After the show Sal took us to the Ivory Cat, where he works as a barback. I've never been too thrilled by the Cat (Pete's Piano Bar is much nicer), but that changed when Sal took us up to the new second floor (which used to be a tatoo parlor). There was a piano player and bassist playing some nice lounge jazz and Sal hooked me, Ray, and himself up with a nice Crown and Sprite. I'm definitely going back there sometime.
Then we went on to Maggie Mae's. On the roof level there were three 4-6 person hot tubs. I walked over to the one Candice was at, stripped down to my boxers, and hopped in. I must say, there's nothing better than being in a hot tub at a bar with a beer in your hand surrounded by hot women in bikinis... well, okay, but not many things are better than it. My brother joined us a little later. At the end of the evening I walked my dripping ass back to the car, handed Ray the keys, and cruised back to the Ledge (only mooning one car this time). All in all, I had a pretty damn good night.

Evening drink score: 13 (bourbon-cokes and beers)

Who needs a cake when you have booze?

I like birthdays. I really like 21st birthdays. I've kind of been hooked ever since mine. I love taking all the newbies out and showing off the Mecca of debauchery that is 6th Street in my home town of Austin, TX. Last night was my friend Bryttne's 21st and here is the tale of the night.

We met up at Trudy's so Bryttne could get her first birthday drink. She got a Mexican Martini (cornerstone of the Trudy's Birthday Challenge, but that's another story all together) and we waited for the rest of the group to trickle in. So after we paid for the drinks we had we set off for Downtown.

On the way to the Library (the 6th Street rendevous) I had an unfortunate encounter with a tree. Day laborers apparently aren't tall enough to trim them to my height. Damn those trees! Ahem, back to the story...

So we got to the Library ad started the drinking. A couple of whiskey-Cokes for me and shots for the ladies. Then we bar hopped to the Aquarium (to the shagrin of Emily who has a fish-tank phobia)then to The Drink then to Maggie Mae's. At the Blind Pig Pub I found out they don't give Birthday shots, but I quickly devised a plan to have fun there anyways. I got everyone inside and said I'd buy the drinks. I instucted to bartender to fix a round (8) of shots of water. Then I passed them out claiming this would be the smoothest vodka shot ever. Gave a toast and kicked it back. The reactions were hilarious. At first people were amazed how smooth it was, then understanding kicked in. Needless to say I had to dodge booting feet as we left.

We proceded on to Shakespeare's and then to the Dizzy Rooster (where I impressed everyone by lifting Bryttne so she could sign the ceiling). From there we went to Cheer's Shot bar where I bought a Blue Wave. I took the bullet for the team and got one for myself too. For those of you that don't know what it is, tough. Youu'll just have to come Downtown with me and find out. From there we went to Coyote Ugly where the boobacious bartenders serviced our birthday girl. While all the girls in the group were dancing on the bar, I did something to provoke one of the bartenders whom promptly hosed me with a couple of gallons of water from behind the bar. Me being a prideful man, holding a couple of purses, I stood my ground to see who would back down first. She did, but I'm not sure if I was truly the winner. Then we mozzied over to Mooseknuckle where more was imbibed and I dried off.

Finally we finished the night at Treasure Island. Now the thing about me when I get drunk is I start dancing (if it's fun). And dance I did, which is where this tasty tidbit comes from:

This is just one of the many 21st that I can recall. Some I cannot. But then again, that's what this blog is all about. Each time you learn a little more about something or other, whether it be Jaegermister is icky or don't ask a hot bartender at a gender-bias bar to jump up and down for you or don't walk into trees when trying to look like a stud. I'll leave you with my favorite toast of the night: Here's not not sweating the petty things and always petting the sweaty things!

P.S. - that's me booty dancing to Bryttne