for love of the bongo burger

Once upon a time i had a brilliant idea to make a cookbook. it would not include original recipes or family secrets, but instead be based on a single infallible principle that is one of the cornerstones of american cuisine. Everything is better with bacon and cheese.

-soup
-hamburgers
-grits
-sushi
-captain crunch

60% of the time it works all the time.

Alas i think the steam has been kicked out of my sails by some gentlemen who are much greater than I. For all the joy that "bass's B&C cookbook" could have brought it pails in comparison to Bacon Salt.

salt + bacon = why didnt i come up with this, why didn't deuce come up with this?

Death of a Six-Pack

One time I killed a six-pack... just to watch it die.


That would be Valentine's Day this year. I spent it at work in wonderful Sulphur, LA where the only thing taller than the swamp trees are the exhaust towers spouting flames into the sky day and night. I know a sixer isn't much, but after a 13-hour day, and another coming up, its not bad.

I wonder if we can start a big-game-esqe hunting club where each bottle or can counts as a point? If so, then I had an easy night and got a six-pointer. It's not the best trophy, but its a start.

NXNW Mug Club

Michelle is awesome! For Christmas she bought me a membership to the NXNW Mug Club. Membership comes with a personalized 20 oz mug, discounts on pints and growlers at the bar, Beer School (of which I've already graduated Magna-Cum-Drunky from Anheuser-Busch's at Sea World), and other fun events. The membership fee is a one-time deal and is good forever. So let me know if you wanna get a pint some time.


Mmmmmmmmmmm, tasty!

Victory Libations! for the win

That should paint the picture for the #12 Longhorns vs #3 Kansas at UT this past Monday night (2/11/08). Once again, it was a battle. Once again we were struggling in the second half. Once again, C-Bass brought up Victory Whiskey (by phone).

But, alas, there was no whiskey to be had where I was, so I had the next nearest thing. Apparently sacremental wine works just as well. Hook'em Horns baby; 72 to 69 (the loooove number)

I think that score deserves a Seimens trophy. It just sounds funny.

aztek

The pontiac aztek came out a couples years back trying to cater to the college crowd.
In that vein of thought, the "what would you do for a pontiac" advertising campaign was used for roughly a year. Some of these commercials where filmed right outside the UT campus on the drag and they pulled some students away from their walk home to film some spots.

I was lucky enough to be asked what I would do for the car, as a preparatory run to see if I should be in a commercial and have a chance at winning a car, I was unlucky enough to have never seen the advertisement before and thus have no idea what the hell was happening.

Q: "what would you do for this pontiac?"
A: "why would I want to drive that wretched car?"

Result: I didn't get a car or face time on the tv, and I spent two weeks telling people about the pervert that offered me a car before I actually saw the commercial.


In a related note this vehicle sold and awe inspiring 25 units last year.

Victory Whiskey! for the win

This weekend UT played the mighty Iowa State Cyclones/Cardinals in NCAA Men's Basketball. The game had a 2:30pm tip-off so I called C-Bass around 1 to see if he wanted to watch the game. As it turns out, he and his wife were already drinking at a wine tasting. He said he was recording the game and Michelle and I should come by later and watch the game.

So, around 7:30pm Michelle and I head over to Bass's house to watch the Horns... and I had refused to look at the final score so the experience would be genuine. The game was rough going. The 3-point deficit we had going into half-time exploded to a twelve point lead for the Cyclones/Cardinals at the beginning of the second half. To counteract the suckitude that was plaguing our team, C-Bass suggested the supersticious intoxicant "Victory Whiskey." How could I turn it down. It has worked so many times before. The 2007 Holiday Bowl, the 2005 Rose Bowl, and countless smaller games. A shot for the second half and another shot for overtime and the Horns won!

As Bass and I were discussing the amazing powers of Victory Whiskey, I came to a realization: the game ended more than 7 hours previous to our shots. The only answer: Victory Whiskey can defy the laws of modern physics. I think that if mankind will ever travel through time, Victory Whuiskey is one of the key ingredients. Even if it won't take you back, enough of it will make you wake up after plenty of time has passed you by.

Of weddings and omens

This weekend Mr. and Mrs. Bass joined me and Michelle for a trip up to Fort Worth for the wedding of Christopher Carr Dell'Accio to Koutney Miller. I knew the fraternity turn out would be good for this occasion, but it exceeded my expectations.

Let me see; both Presnell brothers, Tito, Hemme, Scooter, Al, Steve, Wally, Me, Ken, Virgil, Arfeo, Waldo, Mango, C-Bass, and Vince were there. The David Alan Coe circle hasn't been that full in half a decade!



The bar was well stocked with beer (until we drank it all) and the stories were a'flyin'. I even did the worm on the dance floor, until I busted my chin and decided to stop. After the wedding, we all hiked a couple of blocks to te wedding party's hotel and continued to drink in the bar there. We left before the night got completely crazy and headed back to Austin. That we were able to make it back to Austin is thanks to my wonderful bride-to-be (thanks babe!).


Speaking of my wedding, I received five separate prophetical remarks concerning pantlessness at my wedding. I even had a guy I had never met before say the same thing to me. I'm slightly worried, but if everything goes as I hope at my reception, no pants will be the least of the shinnanigans.

Congratulations Kourtney and Chris! And come July 3rd, I'll be waiting for prophecies to come true.